


:F, or, Arthur the Skeptical Vampire

by tomato_greens



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-10
Updated: 2011-04-10
Packaged: 2017-10-17 20:36:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/180949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomato_greens/pseuds/tomato_greens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eames had to save Arthur somehow. Arthur/Eames optional!</p>
            </blockquote>





	:F, or, Arthur the Skeptical Vampire

**Author's Note:**

> For [this prompt](http://community.livejournal.com/inception_kink/17947.html?thread=39782939#t39782939) on the Inception kink meme. I hate Camus and make no apologies.

"Look, darling, it was this or a questionably-extant afterlife, what did you want me to choose? I didn't want you to be lost to the existentialist nightmare. You could have been stuck with Camus forever!"

Arthur rolled his eyes and sighed, nearly cutting himself in the process. "I didn't even know you were a vampire, how could I have chosen this? I have a godforsaken lisp."

Eames huffed back, crossing his arms and hunching over uncharacteristically. "Well, what was I supposed to do, open up and say _Ah_ , please examine my fangs? I put a lot of work into hiding them, you know! Getting them filed down wasn't cheap! And you'll grow out of the lisp, the way you never quite grew out of the dimples."

"Fuck you, and like you're wanting for money, you fucking––thief," Arthur spit.

"Rich, very rich, coming from you the lowest of insults, I'm sure," Eames bit back. "Look, do you want the fucking garlic rub or not? It'll bring the blood to the skin, get it flowing better, you won't feel so dreadful between early meals."

Arthur shrugged irritably. "I guess. If it will make me stop feeling like I want to vomit everything I've ever eaten in my life onto your shoes."

"You wouldn't." Eames paled. "Those cost me more than your entire wardrobe. They've lasted me for decades."

"Just because you're no good at bargaining," Arthur began, and then vomited everything he'd ever eaten in his unlife just to the left of Eames's very expensive shoes.

"Right," Eames said. "You know where the cups are, I'll get the blood."

"You think you could put a celery stick in it?" Arthur asked, wiping off his mouth with Eames's second-best handkerchief. "I'll pretend I'm on vacation."

"I should have left you to Camus," Eames grumbled, but went to go check the vegetable bin.


End file.
